I am Legend..ish

Now if I could change anything that I have done in the past it would be to choose the Soup over the Salad at TGI Fridays a few years back. I think we all know what would happen if I had made that critical decision. Well applying the concept of the Butterfly Effect, by choosing the chicken and rice soup I would have caused a chain reacting which lead to the eventual cure to cancer. But unknown tot he world the the newly found cure to cause, which is a virus, actually turns everyone into crazy grey zombie dudes, that chase you through the streets of New York, but since I ate that special bowl of TGI Friday's soup I became immune to the symptoms of becoming some weird as hell grey dude that runs really fast and like burns in the sun. So I decide to spend my life dicking around in my basement with my pet dog. Luckily I somehow find a completely clean '08 Cobra Mustang and drive around town shooting deer. Unfortunately I go out at night and start running over the creepy grey dudes and they flip my car. I end up waking up at home with some chick and her freaking son who just decide to barge into my house and eat my bacon. I mean come on if theres a crap ton of pissed off grey dudes with long jaws flippin over cars, and you bring your son long, real smart lady. If I were that kid, Id be like, "screw that I'm goin to Vermont". Turns outs I was just stuck in harlem for the past 3 years. So I went home, and that's why you should always choose the salad over the soup at TGI Fridays.